“I’m afraid.”
Talk to me.
“I got offered a promotion to be the manager of my team.”
Why are you afraid?
“Because I’m an introvert.”
Why is that a problem?
“I like the independence of being an individual contributor. Social interaction is a big part of being a manager. I prefer to work alone.”
That’s a normal way for introverts to feel.
“Are you saying that I should turn down the promotion?”
To the contrary. I say, go for it.
“I’m kind of quiet. If I accept the manager position, I don’t want to fail.”
You might fail.
“I thought you were going to help me.”
From one introvert to another, I am being helpful.
Many of us who work in technology are introverts, including me. As individual contributors, we solve interesting technical problems and mostly do our jobs alone. That’s a pretty cool gig for people who prefer to focus on problem solving in solitude. Introverts find comfort working in their personal zones. We’re deep thinkers, inclined to analysis and self-reflection. Not that we’re averse to every social engagement, but we often find ourselves mentally exhausted after intense social situations.
One day, the introverted individual contributor gets offered a promotion to manager. Or maybe they’re considering initiating a career shift to a leadership role. Anxiety sets in. Of course it does! Introverts tend to overthink and ruminate about things. When considering a leadership role, the biggest anxiety inducing stressor is going to be the social engagement aspects of being a manager. An introvert will wonder: How can a quiet person like me succeed in a leadership role?
Good news! You can succeed as an introvert in a leadership role. However, some aspects of your introverted personality can hurt you. At times, you’re going to struggle and feel frustrated. I’ve struggled at times. I’ve felt those frustrations. Fortunately, introverts have strengths that can be used to overcome their disadvantages, allowing them to achieve success in the role.
“I’m feeling more optimistic now. I’d like to learn more.”
Grab a cup of your favorite caffeinated beverage. Let’s review the hurdles that introverts face in a leadership role. We’ll learn how we can use our strengths to overcome our disadvantages.
Facing prejudice
People have false impressions of introverts. We’re antisocial. Aloof. Arrogant. Depressed. Maybe we’re robots? I dunno. All introverts have dealt with these misconceptions at various points in our lives. Take those prejudices to the next level. An introverted techie is promoted to manager. All of a sudden, the quiet individual contributor is thrust out of the comfort of solitude and into the discomfort of the spotlight. Are you quiet and reserved? Some people will perceive you as passive or weak, judging you based on their stereotypes of strong leaders. Even worse, as an introvert, we’re going to question our perception of ourselves in a leadership role, wondering if we come across to people as self-assured or assertive.
Solution: Be yourself. What? That’s way too simple. Simple is not the introverted way! Seriously, be yourself. Don’t adopt some radical personality change after you get promoted to a managerial position. Don’t try to project the worst qualities of a stereotypical strong leader. You don’t want to appear like a ridiculous caricature of a leader. You got promoted for being you. Introverts tend to have great listening skills. Right? Use those listening skills to gain a better understanding of people, problems and business needs. Listen to your team. Learn. Take the knowledge you’ve gained from listening and take action. By taking action, you will be asserting yourself. You will get things done. Showing your impact is the best way to demonstrate your strength as a leader. As a result, you’ll develop confidence in your new role, leading to an outward projection of self-assurance. Take that, prejudice!
Thinking too much
Introverts do lots of thinking, sometimes to excess. We love to analyze problems, taking deep dives into issues and contemplating multiple paths to solutions. It’s easy for us to get caught up in our own head spaces, an isolation chamber where our thoughts go around and around in an endless loop. Of course, when we get caught in thought loops, we don’t take action. Leaders need to take action. We need to be decisive, unafraid to make potentially wrong or unpopular decisions. Being stuck in analysis paralysis mode also incapacitates your team. You end up becoming the blocker. That’s bad.
Solution: Get out of your head. I know. Easier typed than done. Sometimes, I feel like thought loops act like an impenetrable force field, keeping us from engaging with the rest of the outside world. You need to push yourself to break free of those mental constraints. I mean, push hard. Instead of being trapped by a mental force field, force yourself to engage with the outside world. Practice in little ways during the course of your day-to-day life. Taking a morning walk? Say hello to passersby to break out of your head space. At work, instead of ruminating over problems on your own, reach out to others and ask for their input. All of us face challenges in making certain decisions. Instead of getting stuck in a thought loop to mull over possible courses of action, rely on your technical subject matter experts to collaborate on solutions. Gather data. Weigh the risks. Make a decision. Don’t be afraid to fail because all of us fail at times.
Being marginalized
Quiet people are apt to get excluded or overlooked. Extroverts, thanks to their outgoing personalities, stand out in a group. People hear the loudest voice in the room. Extroverts dominate conversations. Some outgoing people have a tendency to talk over others, especially over people with reserved personalities. In a meeting dominated by extroverts, an introvert will feel overwhelmed, likely hesitant to speak up. Maybe reticence is an okay behavior for an individual contributor who feels comfortable being in the background. As a leader, you need a voice. You need to be heard. Otherwise, you will fail in silence, missing opportunities to contribute ideas and advocate for your team.
Solution: Speak up when it counts. Nobody expects you to change your entire personality. You don’t have to be the life of the party to have a voice. Let’s revisit one of your strengths. In a group situation dominated by extroverts, put your listening skills to work while others are talking. Listen for opportunities to share your thoughts or feedback. Be prepared to interject. You’re going to feel anxious about throwing your voice into the mix. That’s okay. Just do it. Don’t overthink. Live in the moment. Maybe you don’t have as much to say as the extroverts in the room. That’s okay, too. This is about quality of your contribution to the discussion, not quantity. Over time, you’ll become more comfortable asserting yourself in the company of extroverts. When a quiet leader speaks up, people will listen. They’ll know that you have something meaningful to say.
Feeling social anxiety
Social anxiety is one of the biggest drawbacks of being an introvert, leader or not. Small talk makes us feel uncomfortable. We dread having to engage in certain social situations, especially with a group of strangers. Sometimes, we feel like we have nothing to say, even though a million thoughts are racing through our brains. Yet, we end up in social situations, appearing awkward and uncomfortable. Our reaction to social engagement reinforces the prejudices about us. We end up coming across as aloof or arrogant to others in the room. You’re gonna have to ramp up your socialization game to succeed in a leadership role. As a manager, you’ll need to build connections and develop influence. You can’t lead from a silo.
Solution: Develop 1:1 relationships. Introverts fare better in smaller social settings. Let’s turn our preference into a strength. Establish 1:1 meetings with business stakeholders and your manager peers. Use those meeting spaces to build meaningful relationships. Discuss what’s going well, not so well and areas of improvement for your teams. Find out if you share similar interests. Need a topic? Like the funky T-shirt says, “Introverted but willing to discuss cats.” Not all of these 1:1 engagements will be successful. That’s okay. Keep trying. You will build some meaningful relationships. Those relationships will serve as building blocks for you to expand your network. When you get invited to a larger group of your peers, you’ll have the advantage of those previously established relationships to make it easier for you to engage others in the room. As a result, your network grows. And you grow as a leader. Win-win!
Conclusion
Introverts in leadership roles face hurdles. Prejudice sullies our image. Overthinking blocks action. Reticence leads to exclusion. Anxiety inhibits us from socializing. We can overcome those obstacles by applying our listening skills, getting out of our heads, speaking up and developing meaningful relationships.