I love you.
“Thanks for the compliment.”
I hate you. You’re terrible.
“But you said…”
I really do love you.
“But you hate me?”
I hate you so much, except when I love you.
“I’m so confused!”
Unpredictable behavior is jarring, isn’t it?
Nobody wants to work for a Jekyll and Hyde boss. Most of us have encountered that kind of emotionally unstable leader during our working lives. On Monday, we get Dr. Jekyll, the nice boss who acts friendly and hands out compliments. On Tuesday, Mr. Hyde makes his appearance, embarrassing you in front of your team or yelling at you for making a minor mistake. Wednesday may bring more of the affable Dr. Jekyll personality. Or the unhinged Hyde side. We just don’t know what to expect from this type of leader.
You know what’s most disturbing of all?
This extreme flip-flop behavior originates from one person. You recognize the person by name and sight. Yet, their mood takes these wild swings, making them seem like a different person depending on the situation. When someone exhibits consistent behavior — be it calm or kind or cruel — you’re pretty much prepared to deal with them. When you see Jekyll and Hyde coming, you instinctively go on the defensive, bracing yourself for their bad side.
Surprise!
Suppose they give you a dose of their good side. Of course, you start thinking, hmmm, maybe Dr. Jekyll isn’t so cruel after all — until Mr. Hyde blindsides you again and again. This vicious cycle of emotional abuse takes a mental toll on people, causing great distress for teams.
Don’t be that kind of boss.
Sounds like common sense. Right?
To answer that question, let’s look at some of the causes of Jekyll and Hyde behavior in leaders:
Lack of self-awareness
Self-awareness is an important skill for the leader’s toolbox. You’re dealing with people, managing relationships within your team and across the organization. You need to build productive relationships. Therefore, it’s crucial to understand how your behavior affects others. Managers who lack self-awareness may not realize their Jekyll and Hyde behaviors are hurting their teams.
Fear-based motivation
Some leaders use fear-based tactics to motivate their teams. These types of (contemptible) leaders adopt a Jekyll and Hyde persona as a tactic, shifting to Mr. Hyde mode in an effort to motivate their teams through fear. Like it or not as a tactic, fear does produce a temporary boost in motivation. In the long run, the use of fear as a motivational tactic destroys teams.
Mental health condition
Certain personality and mood disorders may cause leaders to exhibit Jekyll and Hyde behavior.
Asshat Syndrome
Not to be confused with a mental health condition, Asshat Syndrome is a terminal condition with no known cure. Popular synonyms include jerk, arsehole and schmuck.
Help is on the way
We’ve identified four causes of this unhinged behavior. What can we do to help one of these bosses banish Mr. Hyde forever?
Number 4 (Asshat Syndrome) is a lost cause. Number 3 (mental health condition) is beyond the scope of a Funky T-Shirt guy. That leaves us with Number 2 (fear-based motivation) and Number 1 (lack of self-awareness). Maybe we can help Number 2 to see the light. Maybe. I’m confident that we can help Number 1 to develop their sense of self-awareness.
Time to start helping!
Fear – NOT
I have this stereotype of a leader who uses fear as a tactic to motivate their teams. This well-meaning — but misguided — person read a couple of books by some old-timey businessman who advocates a heavy-handed approach to keep their employees on their toes. They become entranced by the author’s leadership philosophy and attempt to emulate their idol’s style. That’s the best case scenario. Worst-case, we’re dealing with an Asshat and we all know there is no known cure for that syndrome.
For the well-meaning — but misguided — leader: Stop. Just stop. Yeah. Fear can be effective. No doubt. Fear also increases stress in people, causing long-term issues such as low morale and burnout, leading to lower productivity and people quitting. More importantly, using fear as a tactic to motivate people is morally wrong. Stop it. If fear is the only tool in your leadership toolbox, consider a career change.
Develop self-awareness
Leaders who lack self-awareness tend to act without considering how their actions will affect others. Driven by their emotions, they are prone to lashing out at their team when things go wrong. After the heat of the moment, these types of leaders may reflect upon their rash reactions, feeling a sense of remorse for going overboard. This is where Dr. Jekyll enters the picture, as the counter to the wrongs of Mr. Hyde. Of course, when a leader lacks self-awareness, the Jekyll and Hyde cycle will continue and the team will continue to suffer for it.
Good news! You can develop self-awareness as a leader. Learn about the power of real-time observation. Observation begins within the self. To be successful at it, you’re going to concurrently manage your internal dialogue with events external to you. That means thinking before you speak, weighing the potential effects of your words on external events and the participants. In tandem with your internal assessment, you’re going to look outside of yourself, gauging the temperature of the room for the potential impact of your message. Through real-time observation, you’ll have an opportunity to refine or change your message before you deliver it, keeping the odious Mr. Hyde at bay.
Along with observation, self-reflection is another essential component of self-awareness. Try as you might, observation in real-time isn’t always going to be successful. Being human, you will make missteps that result in an unexpected appearance of Mr. Hyde. This is where self-reflection comes in. After things have quieted down, reflect upon your unfortunate misstep, considering what went well, not so well and how you can handle the situation better next time. Self-reflection also helps to reinforce our new powers of observation.
Lastly, the feedback of others is just as essential as self-reflection. We all have biases and blind spots about ourselves, limiting the effectiveness of self-reflection. Getting external feedback about our actions gives us the bigger picture. We can use the feedback to work on improvements to our interactions with our team or other folks across the organization.
Conclusion
Jekyll and Hyde bosses are bad for an organization. Their unpredictable behavior and cycle of emotional abuse destroys teams. Leaders with a willingness to develop self-awareness can use observation, self-reflection and external feedback to relegate Jekyll and Hyde to the confines of a Stevenson novel, right where the beast belongs.
